Wednesday, February 28, 2018

Healing Hearts Sequel, or "Breathe, Jane, Breathe!"...

Like these roads in Chester, Vermont, friendships take twists and turns.
Shortly after posting my blog regarding how reluctant I am to keep my address book in pencil, my resolve was soon tested. Trying to be a good friend, means that I will be tested, as after all, it is the Lenten Season when Godliness versus humanness is the focus! I no longer sacrifice chocolate. "No, Lent is a season that I need all the reinforcements I can get". Sometimes just trying to be a decent human being is challenge enough.

Civility seems to fall short these days, as entitlement seems to reign and when you make promises to God, testing seems to follow. I was just swimming and suddenly there arose from the water two adults standing in my swim lane conversing nonchalantly. I nicely excused myself for being in their way, though the opposite was true and let them know that the narrow lane we were all standing in was occupied by me for swimming. They excused themselves minutes later, as I delayed my swimming to wait for them to move out of my lane.

I have considered what I wrote in my Healing Hearts Blog, posted just weeks ago, and decided that I must correct it, though I still maintain that as much as possible I am reluctant to remove friends from my address book. I am appreciating that occasionally declaring my boundaries is not only OK but totally appropriate. If I remember the golden rule correctly, it says, "do unto others as you would have them do unto you", and scripture states it more clearly, "love others as you love yourself".  Self respect must be honored too and being a door mat isn't loving yourself! It is then my friend's choice versus mine as to whether or not they respect my limits and remain a friend. We all have limits that must be respected.

If  a person doesn't respect my boundaries, I am apparently no prize as their friend. Is it not presumptuous to assume that I am there only to be used for whatever they might need?  I am now seriously considering keeping my address book in pencil! I don't believe that God demands me to stress-out over keeping my friends "in permanent ink".

I broke another Lenten sacrifice to complain to one of my faithful friends regarding the lack of swim ettiquette at the pool to which she wisely answered, "I know" and then added, "Breathe, Jane, Breathe..."....and I understood perfectly..."Good air in, bad feelings out"...and started repeating, "Breathe, Jane, breathe, and yet again...Breathe, Jane, breathe! A new mantra for the remainder of my life or at least this Lenten Season, or for as long as I continue to try to be a nice person in the face of those not working to be the same. "Breathe Jane, Breathe!"