Saturday, May 2, 2015

Grumpy Old Man Syndrome

There it was in black and white...there IS a Grumpy Old Man Syndrome!
Well, this morning I looked it up on the computer and there it was in black and white.  Men don't typically age gracefully as they lose their testosterone, they instead "take to yelling at kids to stay off their lawn", or "hang out in their garages sulking"!

There really is a Grumpy Old Man Syndrome and I was experiencing it first-hand!! It wasn't by standing on "my husband's lawn" that I discovered it, but rather when I dared to thin out the shoes and boots on OUR/ HIS? boot rack in the mud room, taking pride in cleaning up the house a bit, as only last week, he complained that I had taken to becoming a totally slovenly housewife who was fixated on sewing and quilting? Who, me? I actually felt fortunate that he hadn't noticed this trend years ago!

I was going to treat his feedback with what would appear to be a sincere desire to please him! Inviting a friend over at the end of the week, I could see my husband's point! The house was a disaster!! But enough about my issues, this blog is to be about what is a very real "grumpy old man syndrome".

I had complained to my sister-in-law years ago that her brother seemed to be having some negative moods and she told me all the men in my husband's family seemed to get grumpy as they aged?  I couldn't help but wonder why she had waited to tell me this until AFTER I married him?

Reading several articles, I took notes only to discover that to date I have responded in exactly the wrong way. They all said that whatever you do, DON'T ever confront the man in your life with the truth that he is becoming "a grumpy old man" and never suggest that he take his blood sugar or send him off to the doctor to find out what is wrong with him!? Being a good triage nurse in my day, but a person of little brain regarding husband psychology, I had already made some serious mistakes and thought I would caution my readers not to do the same!
I found this on line in images for Grumpy Old Men. Gift it at your own risk!

Most articles recommended being quiet and patient, treating him with extra kindness as likely his testosterone levels are declining and his body is only a fragment of what it once was and likely he is struggling to accept and adjust to these new realities? such changes haven't been affecting my body from the minute I got pregnant with our first child!!!  Perhaps science should find a way for our husbands to carry at least one child as a warm-up exercise to having bodies that aren't what they used to be?! I am also realizing perhaps I am not seen as the tender-hearted and sympathetic woman I used to be!
Perhaps seen as less than the kind and sympathetic person I used to be?

My new Three Ring Circus Modus Operandi must now add yet more rings, and I will have to dust off my psychiatric nursing skills to jump through hoops of fire when my husband, the ring master of my circus comes through the door grumpy and "barking". Simply altering my UFO project completion deadlines may not be the only change required by my new plan. I may have to hide my euphoria about what I plan to accomplish to curtail the ripple effect that such  plans have on my husband, though I admit, it will be like sweeping an elephant under the rug before he comes home, as my messes from my over-exhuberant quilting schedule are evident everywhere! Perhaps if I take to being  a little more whiny and complaining, he might be driven back into his man-cave to hibernate and be less grizzly?

Grumpy Old Men is Not a genetic disorder!  More than one exist!
I am certainly open for suggestions as to how others deal with their "grumpy old man", now that I know that this phenomena is not just genetically mine alone to deal with? I have already started a fishing trip fund to send him on a private vacation and will gladly accept contributions and recommendations for back woods fishing lodges? I am not giving up my new modus operandi! I will finish my unfinished quilts if it kills me and it/he just might?!

In all fairness to my dear husband, I must say that I am likely not the easiest to live with...and he is generous beyond belief to helping me stay supplied with materials, as I am certain that he believes that there is also a Gumpy Old Woman Syndrome that might overtake me if I should run out of things to sew!!
I, on the other hand, am entitled to get grumpy!

"Best keep me well supplied with quilt materials  to keep me cheery!"
* All images are credited to images found when googling Grumpy Old Men and Grumpy Old Women, protecting our own images so we can carry on and live in our own little town without being permanently branded as "grumpy"!